Tom Antion: More Speaker Humor

=> Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That
way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

=> Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

=> A closed mouth gathers no feet.

=> If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
the trip.

=> Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

=> A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

=> There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

DEFINITIONS AND METRIC CONVERSIONS

=> 1000 aches = 1 megahurtz

=> semicolon = Half of a large intestine

=> 1 billigram = Weight an evangelist carries with God

=> 1 hoarsepower = Basic unit of laryngitis

=> Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the
pavement = 1 bananosecond

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