Humor For Speeches - America

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ONLY IN AMERICA

Only in America... Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America... Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America... Do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.

Only in America... Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America... Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.

Only in America... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America... Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

And in America a school teacher can get fired for having a Bible on her desk.

Only in America do we have several unread Bibles in our home, while most of the rest of the world is begging for just one copy.

Only in America do I offend people by wishing them a Merry Christmas.